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The following IELTS Task 2 sample essay focuses on travel, addressing a non-opinion question.
First, read the sample and guess its score. Then see the edits and notes that follow, as well as the analysis.
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Task:
The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
- Original
In recent years, overseas travel and communication has become much more popular around the globe. Over the last decade, the cost of flying has shown a dramatic downward trend, thereby making cross-border travel much more accessible for the general public. Addressing this topic, this essay will discuss both the benefits and the drawbacks of this trend.
To begin with, from the perspective of global economy and communication, the decreasing trend of airfare can be beneficial. Firstly, the growing accessibility of overseas travel facilitates the economic growth of various industries worldwide. Since more and more individuals are moving from one nation to another, airlines and tourist industries flourish. Secondly, the increasing frequency of international travel can contribute to more opportunity for networking and face-to-face communication between individuals of similar aspirations around the world. For instance, thanks to affordable flying costs, it is easier for businessmen in the same field but in different regions to socialize and exchange valuable experience with one another personally, thereby building rapport and further strengthening their relationships.
However, there exist negative aspects as well. From an environmental standpoint, making overseas travel more accessible can give rise to increasing carbon emissions and air pollution, thereby aggravating the situation of climate change. Indeed, the gases released from airplanes are considerably more harmful to the environment than those emitted by smaller vehicles. Furthermore, when it comes to preserving local cultures, the rise in international travel can result in a faster pace of globalization. This leads to the emergence of a “global village”, thereby making it much more challenging to protect local cultures from being invaded by foreign merchants and products.
In conclusion, the overall decrease in the cost of flying has enabled cross-border travel to be more accessible. Whilst this brings undeniable economic and social benefits, the environmental and cultural repercussions must not be ignored. (305)
- Lexical Resource (7) & Grammatical Range & Accuracy (8.5)
- Cohesion & coherence (6.5) & Task response (6)
The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
- Clean copy
In recent years, overseas travel has become much more popular around the globe. Over the last decade, the cost of flying has experienced a dramatic downward trend, making cross-border travel much more accessible for the general public. This essay will discuss both the benefits and the drawbacks of this trend.
To begin with, cheaper flights can be beneficial from the perspectives of the global economy and communications. Firstly, they facilitate economic growth in various industries, such as airlines and tourism. Secondly, the increasing frequency of international travel can contribute to more opportunities for networking and face-to-face communications between individuals of similar aspirations around the world. For instance, it is easier for businessmen in the same field but in different regions to socialize and exchange valuable experiences with one another personally, thereby building rapport and further strengthening their relationships. Thus, more affordable air travel can boost both corporate, national, and individual interests.
However, there exist negative aspects to low-cost flights as well. From an environmental standpoint, this means more flights, which gives rise to increasing carbon emissions and air pollution, consequently aggravating climate change. In fact, gases released from airplanes are considerably more harmful to the environment than those emitted by smaller vehicles. Another disadvantage of a spike in air travel is the faster pace of globalization. The resulting “global village” makes it much more challenging to protect local cultures from foreign products and ideas that may influence the local identity. Clearly, then, while greater access to air travel benefits those who use it, there are detriments to the planet and individual communities.
In conclusion, the decrease in the cost of flying has enabled cross-border travel to be more accessible. Whilst this brings undeniable economic and social benefits, the environmental and cultural repercussions must not be ignored. (296)
- Adam’s version:
The cost of flying has decreased significantly over the last decade. This has made overseas travel much more accessible. Discuss the advantages and disadvantages of this trend.
In recent years, a noticeable drop in the airfares has made international travel increasingly popular as more and more people have opportunities to take long-distance trips. As this essay will discuss, this trend comes with both benefits and drawbacks.
From the former perspective, cheaper flights can positively impact the global economy. Firstly, they facilitate economic growth in various industries, such as airlines and tourism. As more people travel, they spend more on airline tickets, accommodations in destination areas, and at local attractions and commercial areas. Secondly, international travel can contribute to more opportunities for professional networking and face-to-face communications among individuals in similar industries around the world. For instance, companies and even governments can host global exhibitions and conferences to bring business people together to build rapport and strengthen relationships, share ideas, initiate trade, or otherwise collaborate to help expand their economic reach. Thus, more affordable air travel can boost both corporate, national, and individual interests.
However, negative aspects to low-cost flights exist as well. From an environmental standpoint, having more flights gives rise to increasing carbon emissions and air pollution, consequently aggravating climate change. In fact, gases released from airplanes are considerably more harmful than those emitted by smaller vehicles. Another disadvantage of a spike in air travel is the faster pace of globalization. The resulting “global village” makes it much more challenging to protect local cultures from foreign products and ideas that may influence the local identity. Clearly, then, while greater access to air travel benefits those who use it, there are detriments to the planet and individual communities.
In conclusion, lower-cost flying has enabled cross-border travel to be more accessible. While this brings undeniable economic benefits, the environmental and cultural repercussions must not be ignored. (288)
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